Tip of the Day

Momma Said There'll Be Days Like This... 

Some of us were just blessed with mothers who seem to know or want to know everything about your life... even dating. And most likely somewhere along the line you did go crying to someone "mother" like when your heart was broken or things just weren't going right. My mother always said "There are other fish in the sea," and she was right. (Thanks MKS.) Just because your relationship/ dating experience didn't work out the way you want, don't crawl into a hole. Pick yourself up, reevaluate what you really want your significant other to be like, and then have fun trying to find them. So, Thanks MOM!

Just Play!

While SORRY!, LIFE, Scrabble, and UNO are all really fun games to play with your date, I would suggest picking up a console. There are so many games to choose from these days you should be able to choose one that incorporates both of your tastes. My advice would be to play a video game of some sort for a third or fourth date. By that time you should have at least 1. met in public and 2. done something that you both have in common or at least one of you is passionate about. The next date should be cozy, relaxed, and fun, BUT not boring or awkward (i.e. movie on the couch) Side Note: I discourage inviting someone over during the first few dates for a movie because it doesn't allow you to learn anything new about the other person. It just creates an atmosphere charged with nervous energy and awkward silence. Plus you will be thinking "What happens after the movie?" the entire time during the movie... so what's the point. 

Solution: Gaming. 

Being able to add a competitive edge to your date will show how your chemistry has evolved. By this point you will be comfortable to be more playful with each other. So jump on the couch or get active with the Wii Controllers and have a great time egging each other on. And remember to not be a sore loser even if you are super competitive. They don't need to find that out till after you're dating and think your already adorable enough to keep around. 

Tip of the Day

Don't Nitpick

Yes there is always something about someone that bugs the crap out of you. Whether they are a nail biter, fast talker, interrupter, or just plain all over the place. Please, take moment to think before biting their face off. If this relationship is something you want to last then stop, breath, and then react. Don't attack someone about their flaws because that will lead to self consciences and most likely a break up. Take a moment out of a day when they are NOT doing the thing that bothers you and bring it up. (IF you have been dating more than 6 months and have a comfortable, open relationship.) Don't be offended when they come back with your flaw that annoys them. Learn from this and if its workable... fix it. If it's not.. hit the road.

Tip of the Day

They Didn't Call Back Because....

After every first date men and women alike go through this emotional phase I like to call the "PHONE RING PLEAASSEEEE!!!" phase. This is brought on by the fact that you had such a good time on the date that you can't wait to see that person again. BUT.. you don't quite know how that person felt about you. So you pace around the room and stare at your cell phone waiting for the phone call that might never come. So here is the tip, before you part ways at the end of the night ASK for a second date. If you feel that strongly that you had a great time and you want to see where this will go, just go for it. Ask for a second date and plan it with them in your presence. Example: " I had a great time with you tonight, especially your (insert funny moment or great story). Would you like to get together sometime this week? I was wanting to go to the (insert someplace you have a common interest in) and would rather go with you, since we have that in common." This way you won't be sitting around waiting for an answer of whether they had a good time or not. Plus you'll look confident and fascinating at the same time. 

Differences You Can Learn To Embrace

To have a successful, happy relationship you don't need to be complete clones of each other. While everyone goes through that phase of "Oh, you like that, I like that too!" It's just not realistic to completely agree on everything. Plus that would get boring after awhile. So here are some major differences that, I promise, you can overlook or embrace as good conversation.

1. Political views. Just become one person is a raging tree hugger and the other is super conservative doesn't mean you aren't compatible. Yes, while learning these facts about each other can be quite an adventure, you should be able to state your beliefs without the other person running for the hills. I know several couples, including my own, that are political opposites and you learn that when it comes to that time in early November, you just sleep in opposite rooms. ;) 
2. Religious views. I realize that when it comes to religion people can walk a fine line. Some couples deal with family pressure, others just want to date within their own religion. This is perfectly fine, but on the chance you happen to find your perfect match that doesn't have the same religious views you do, don't snub them too quickly. Relationships are about growing and learning from the other. It's possible you could take turns visiting each other's religious venues and this will help to create stimulating conversations while getting to know each other. 
3. Significant income difference. Money issues are the number one buzz kill of a healthy relationship. As long as you establish money goals and realize that one person is going to be contributing more to your lifestyle than the other you should be able to build a solid foundation. Just realize that money will be popping up many times and that you need to keep cool, calm, and collected with each other. 

Signs Your Date Isn't The One

There are a few things you need to watch our for to realized the one your dating isn't The One.

1. Your "spark" or connection with the person fizzles quickly.  You should be able to notice this by the 3rd or 4th date. You shouldn't waste your time trying to rekindle a spark that was that brief. 
2. Your lifestyles clash. 
3. They don't get your jokes. One of the best ways to know you have a connection is by how much you can make the other person laugh. If they just don't think you're funny... move on cause they are probably lame anyways. 
4. They aren't ready to commit, but you are. Trying to change someones mind can been a daunting task. I would recommend trying to pursue someone who is in the same stage of life as you are and is ready for commitment. You don't want to spend the next few years wasting time waiting for them to come around. 
5. Your spending habits don't match. This one is vital if you intend to share bank accounts. Make sure this one is discussed in detail before you proceed with a relationship. If you are super tight with money and the other person is constantly spending it, its going to be a rocky relationship. 

*Blog Idea from Article on Match.com

Tip of the Day: For Men

Help Her Out

It is clinically proven that women produce less serotonin than their male counterparts. Serotonin is the brain chemical that is released that makes people feel happy. So help your girl out when she comes home from a bad day at work with a back rub or just offer to listen to her complain a little. I mean really since woman are at a disadvantage that can't be helped it seems like a fair thing to do, right? Plus, guys, you will most likely benefit from transfusing the happiness to her. 

Basic Instinct

Everyone has heard the phrase "Follow your instincts," and in the dating world that should be your motto. Creatures were given "fight or flight" as a survival tactic in the wild and a good example of the "wild" is the dating scene. For instance, if you find yourself sitting across a space with someone on a first date and you're sensing that this person is giving off some weird vibes. Run. Don't waste your time with someone who is making your hair stand up on your arm. First impressions really are everything and your instincts will usually warn you about disaster waiting to happen. Now, if you are sitting there and you find yourself starting to relax, lean forward, and really engage with the person, you're most likely free from disaster. So take the time on the first date to really take notice of how you are feeling. If it's time to run make your excuses and peace out, but if you start to feel comfortable then you are probably following your instincts into a good thing.

Tip of the Day

Truly Enjoy Your Time Together

I have taken the last few days off because I personally feel that you need to really enjoy your time with your family, friends, and significant other. If you surround yourself with your ipad, computer, cell phone, kindle, etc, you'll be disconnected from the time specially tailored for developing great memories. So as this new year is starting keep in mind all the "specially tailored" times for bonding and make sure you make the most of them. Not be morbid, but life is short.